New Year's Eve Update

Severdonetsk, Ukraine

31 December 2008,

Wow, what a close to a year! You guys out there thinking and praying for us have been a great comfort to draw strength from. Your efforts have been more successful than our wildest dreams. We are spending this week in a foreign country, in a city that the language, both spoken and written are a mystery. Heidi’s cousin’s sister in law, Lesha has come to assist us with the kids and our sanity. She is a theater student in Kiev, and has had a background of working with kids in similar facilities.

We came to Ukraine as the next step on the 10-year journey to adopt two children. We had chosen this route to a family early in our marriage and have grown convicted that it is our mission to touch these children’s hearts. When you stand in a playroom surrounded by 15 young faces that are bright and energetic, it will break your heart to think about what awaits them. For those who have not been adopted, when they turn sixteen they “age out” of the system and go out on the street to survive.

As we mentioned, we went to our referral appointment on the 15th of December and received the first challenge to our hearts, a set of three siblings, two girls and an older brother. Alexandr (Sasha), Christina and Tatiana (Tanya) who had been at the Severdonesk Internat (orphanage) since being taken from their mother three years ago. But, as we found out, something had become lost in the translation.

As we moved down the steps and onto the overnight train to Lugansk, that we came to understand we indeed had two separate referrals. One for the three children here at the Internat in Severdonesk, but also a separate referral for an older brother, age 10, at a Special Internat at the hometown, Teplogorsk, where the children came from.

From the records, the ten year old was listed (or interpreted from the brief official jargon) as severely disabled. The SDA had suggested that he could be “separated” from his siblings for cause. In Ukraine, the urban family size we have seen is one child, the domestic adoption rates are low and the rule is a sibling should not be separated from the group. This situation will doom most larger sibling groups to a life in the institution and eventually the streets.

We have been struggling with the management of this Internat for the referral of the three younger children for 10 days. It was only on Monday, the 29th did we travel the 45 min to an hour drive, (stopping for directions no less than 10 times (gals, you would be so proud of our driver) to find the office of the inspector for the area.

Still in shock from the referral for three, and not in our hearts, minds or the pit of our stomach, knowing what to do. With our nice little urban life, carefully prepared for two healthy children, already stretched to the limit with 3 (it’s a two plus-bedroom house you must know) the inspector showed us a photo on her computer of the ten year older brother.

He appeared to be standing there near his bed in a dormitory room with four or five other beds in the background. He had that puppy look too him, big dark eyes, and I knew this was not going to be as simple as it had been stated. This boy was looking at us, and there appeared to be nothing wrong with him from the photo. Our facilitator/translator asked the Inspector, what is wrong with him, and she said, I don’t think anything. She also said, I think he is normal. By no means, did we wish anything wrong with this young boy, but we were shocked to see him looking out at us from the computer screen. We were speechless, and walked out to the hallway to think and pray. Lesya joined us there and asked the $1,000,000 question, “ what would you like to do?”

So we met Maxim about two hours later. A very shy (and overwhelmed) young man. This Internat turned out being about the same age but situated in a much smaller town. The walls are brighter and warmer, the director warm and engaging. The kids where away at the moment, but the photos on the wall gave no indication of any of the children being neither physically nor mentally disabled as most were classified.

Ironically, that day happened to be the one day out of the year that all the 2nd grade and above kids from area orphanages go to a circus in Lugansk and it seemed that Christina and Sasha where there too. As we were waiting for Maxim to return from the same circus it was interesting to wonder if they would see one another there.

When we met Maxim, within a few minutes we found out that he had in fact seen and talked to Christina and Sasha. It was also told to us that Maxim had heard from the children’s caregiver that the three younger kids were going to be adopted and going to America.

We were so amazed at the situation (imagining what Maxim went through that day, as he no doubt wondered, “what about me”, throughout watching the circus and on the bus ride back to his orphanage). Maxim had been taken to the special needs orphanage three years ago and his siblings remained together and taken to Serverdonentz Internat. For Maxim to then return to the orphanage at five p.m. and have several people waiting for him in the director’s office to be asked do you want to be adopted and go to America?

What was so amazing was to see him standing in the doorway, walk in and begin to introduce himself. It was then so profound to see his expression when he was asked to be adopted and to go to America! He began to smile so big that he was caught up with so much emotion and was so overwhelmed that he began to cover his smile and his face with his arm, and he lowered his head to his chest. He soon began to respond with a head nod and later with words of agreement to be adopted and go to America.

When we showed Maxim the photos we had taken and developed in the last two weeks he really enjoyed the photos. We soon learned through translation that he wanted to be in the photo (that is why he is holding the photo of the three kids and Erik and I and he is photographed in it too).

The next day we returned to the orphanage where Maxim was and the Inspector joined us as she wanted to hear Maxim agree to go to America. A long conversation began and from it we learned that Maxim did in fact want to go to America and be a part of our family. We also observed Maxim as he was required to write a statement to the Director that he wanted to be adopted and travel to America. He told the Inspector that he could not write the statement himself so it was agreed that she would write the statement and Maxim would copy it on another piece of paper. We then watched Maxim struggle through all the words (including both Erik and my full names) as he wrote out the statement two times (to have two original copies) that were signed, and stamped accordingly by the Inspector and Director.

Our time with the three kids continue and yesterday we were greeted by the two older ones with Good Morning, “My name is _____” in English and we were pleasantly surprised. The two girls later went through an English/Russian Mickey Mouse book and Tania was writing the words in English and Christina was writing the answers in Russian. They both were saying the words in English too which was pretty neat to see considering that both of them were very resistant to learning English two weeks ago.

So the story continues!

Erik and Heidi