Took the younger three kids to the zoo today with the assistance of Masha and Jennifer Bindhammer and Clinton Blair and they had a great time! Masha escaped two hours later to get off to go help at Ebs hospitality (we are thankful she remembers to "pop smoke" as we call it in the military - to leave the area- and go have a life for herself even though she leaves to continue to serve others!)... Erik and I were exhausted when we left the zoo and the three kids were fairly tired too (yeah!)... My brother Jerry had Maxim all day on his own and Jerry continues to amaze me with the heart of gold and the kindness to this tough minded and strong willed (yet very confused and scared little boy)!
We hope that tomorrow am Jerry can get Maxim on the am flight to Minnesota and that all the kids can be ok with the change. Our family (Jerry's wife and daughter, my two other siblings, Mom, Grandma x 2) and friends and community in MN are already looking for Russian-speaking help and resources to be there when Jerry and Maxim land in MN and head up North to the 10 acres of land to begin a more roaming ability lifestyle for Maxim. Jerry already started to teach him how to use power tools, and with patience that Jerry has so much of, Maxim is learning to fix and do projects.
Thanks again and please ask many to continue to pray for this family!
Regards!
Heidi and Erik Brun and family
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
The Calm Continues
The calm continues as the week comes to a close. Heidi and Jerry, her brother, had Maxim at the ID Card section at Ft. Myer today and Jerry got a good feel for a full-scale (or Maximum) Meltdown. Otherwise the army bureaucracy kept us jumping. The folks from the Church covered us in the morning so we could be three places at once.
We continue to find our way around. We are pulling together support and resources as fast as we can. Most recently I stumbled across the website of the Families for Russian Ukrainian Adoption (FRUA): the DC Chapter has 250 families.
http://www.frua.org/
Heidi had arranged for an appointment with Dr. Ronald S. Federici. He came highly recommended, and as it turns out is a national expert on foreign adoption specializing in the former Soviet states, who has been on Nightline, 20/20 and Oprah. He agreed to see Christina as the first egg in our basket to boil. She is due for a 7-hour intake in March or earlier if a hole opens up in his schedule. We met for an hour today and it was very revealing.
He gave us a copy of his current resource, I've ordered some more copies on Amazon today, so it is available:
Help for the Hopeless Child: A Guide for Families (With Special Discussion for Assessing and Treating the Post-Institutionalized Child), Second Edition (Paperback) byRonald S. Federici (Author) "Hopeless" goes hand in hand with such descriptions as: desperate, discouraged, incurable and irreparable..."
http://www.drfederici.com/ is his website. He has some very good articles and other resources posted.
The kids are home and diner is simering.
Love to all,
Erik
We continue to find our way around. We are pulling together support and resources as fast as we can. Most recently I stumbled across the website of the Families for Russian Ukrainian Adoption (FRUA): the DC Chapter has 250 families.
http://www.frua.org/
Heidi had arranged for an appointment with Dr. Ronald S. Federici. He came highly recommended, and as it turns out is a national expert on foreign adoption specializing in the former Soviet states, who has been on Nightline, 20/20 and Oprah. He agreed to see Christina as the first egg in our basket to boil. She is due for a 7-hour intake in March or earlier if a hole opens up in his schedule. We met for an hour today and it was very revealing.
He gave us a copy of his current resource, I've ordered some more copies on Amazon today, so it is available:
Help for the Hopeless Child: A Guide for Families (With Special Discussion for Assessing and Treating the Post-Institutionalized Child), Second Edition (Paperback) by
http://www.drfederici.com/ is his website. He has some very good articles and other resources posted.
The kids are home and diner is simering.
Love to all,
Erik
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Wednesday
The rebellion has become less visible, the kids bedroom door now has a sheet of plywood on the inside. We have placed locks on the adult rooms and have put security bars on the windows to keep the accidental fall from adding the emergency room to our tours of DC.
I'm not prod of a Mini-Max kids room, but when you send them to their room, they need to stay there.
Big Max, our facilitator who traveled with us to keep the kids in check, stopped by on Tuesday night. He sat down and talked to them all for about 20 minutes. He found many interesting things, like the orphanage doctor had ordered them all not to talk about their home life to anyone. They all have memory of their home life including a very abusive alcoholic father and a mother who loved and protected them until the father ended up in jail. Then she found a "new fiance" and left them. (Ages 7, 6, 5, and 3 at the time). I put Max on the shuttle bus to Dulles Wednesday.
The kids are progressing in settling in.Heidi has slayed the Military benefits dragon and we have three medical appointments on Friday.
She had rooted around and found the name of a Russian speaking specialist in Northern VA. Somehow she got an appointment for us to take Christina in on Friday for a induction session. He has several of his own children who he adopted from the former USSR and was a groundbreaking practitioner for detachment disorder. Unfortunately Tricare does not recognize him. We are going to do this one out of pocket.
I contacted an organization called Families for Russian and Ukraine adoption (FRUA), that provides International adoption information for families interested in Russian adoption, Ukraine adoption, and adoption from neighboring countries. They have 250 members in the DC/ NoVA/ MD area. When I told the their Representative that we had an appointment with this Therapist she said he was "the" authority in the central east cost. She was very impressed that Heidi had Christina on the list for this week since he is usually scheduled out two months.
Heidi's Brother Jerry flies in Today, the dog has a hair appointment and the church organized meals keep coming. We toured two parks with the kids yesterday and most improtantly to me, we hand a 7 participant tickle fight/wrestling match on the sectional.
Most importantly was that Tayna was a player in the tickle fest. She has always been at arms reach, so she came out of her shell another inch. Christina is doing better, but Maxim shows a lot of wear and tear in his short life. Sasha keeps delivering as the mostly good boy, like when he was the first to cross the "No Chili on my plate" picket line at the diner table.
Every new food is meet with jeers and derision at first, except the Strawberry Shortcake.
Dawn Breaks on Thursday, gotta go!
Erik
I'm not prod of a Mini-Max kids room, but when you send them to their room, they need to stay there.
Big Max, our facilitator who traveled with us to keep the kids in check, stopped by on Tuesday night. He sat down and talked to them all for about 20 minutes. He found many interesting things, like the orphanage doctor had ordered them all not to talk about their home life to anyone. They all have memory of their home life including a very abusive alcoholic father and a mother who loved and protected them until the father ended up in jail. Then she found a "new fiance" and left them. (Ages 7, 6, 5, and 3 at the time). I put Max on the shuttle bus to Dulles Wednesday.
The kids are progressing in settling in.Heidi has slayed the Military benefits dragon and we have three medical appointments on Friday.
She had rooted around and found the name of a Russian speaking specialist in Northern VA. Somehow she got an appointment for us to take Christina in on Friday for a induction session. He has several of his own children who he adopted from the former USSR and was a groundbreaking practitioner for detachment disorder. Unfortunately Tricare does not recognize him. We are going to do this one out of pocket.
I contacted an organization called Families for Russian and Ukraine adoption (FRUA), that provides International adoption information for families interested in Russian adoption, Ukraine adoption, and adoption from neighboring countries. They have 250 members in the DC/ NoVA/ MD area. When I told the their Representative that we had an appointment with this Therapist she said he was "the" authority in the central east cost. She was very impressed that Heidi had Christina on the list for this week since he is usually scheduled out two months.
Heidi's Brother Jerry flies in Today, the dog has a hair appointment and the church organized meals keep coming. We toured two parks with the kids yesterday and most improtantly to me, we hand a 7 participant tickle fight/wrestling match on the sectional.
Most importantly was that Tayna was a player in the tickle fest. She has always been at arms reach, so she came out of her shell another inch. Christina is doing better, but Maxim shows a lot of wear and tear in his short life. Sasha keeps delivering as the mostly good boy, like when he was the first to cross the "No Chili on my plate" picket line at the diner table.
Every new food is meet with jeers and derision at first, except the Strawberry Shortcake.
Dawn Breaks on Thursday, gotta go!
Erik
Monday, February 9, 2009
Home Again, Home Again, Home Again All
The main effort is over! Now the insurgency (sound familiar?). The enemy may not have a flag or uniform, but they warrant the same caution and respect.
The last battle of the Adoption, Ukraine edition:
The scene was the duty free shop in Borispil International airport. We had just cleared passports and security, to get into the waiting area. Heidi and I go into Duty Free to get some bribes for the kids and look for comfort food for us. I head out of the store to get Big Max who was watching the the bags, so he can help negotiate with the kids on goodies (not the place to do this shopping by the way). Well, three of them follow me out with an armful of goods in hand and the security goon hot on their heels. A set of mug shots where not taken.
A new day, a new struggle:
We made the flights and had a fantastic welcome Saturday night from our friends. The place looked amazing! Masha and the NCC Crew had painted the kids' room and assembled all the Ikea stuff to fit four in to the space available. Presents had been coming in for them and wrapping paper was flying. And all was bliss at the close of Saturday, but that's at midnight.
Now, the theme this week is: Prison Break, the movie
By 3 AM Sunday; we have been bitten, pinched, scratched, spit on and sweared at with the gusto of a Baltic sailor. The high point of Sunday was Christina and Max tossing the mattress out the 2nd floor bedroom window and threatening a jump.
The most memorable scene of Christina dismantling the louvers on the bedroom door and trowing them at me down the stairs. At first I watched her hit the door, and the louvers separated, then the fingers began to explore. When she got a good hold of one and gave it a good yank, it was all over. It was a Zombie film slo-mo; as the slats disappeared out of the frame and came at me whiffing through the air. Luckily she throws like a girl (ha ha).
Christina is the ring leader and Max is her henchman, Sasha less so and has a heart. Tanya is the victim who gets less attention since she isn't acting out.
Close of business Monday, calmer but movement in the background. 10 holes in the new hollow-core door I installed on Sunday. I have a sheet of plywood and a carpenter coming Tuesday to reinforce their door and secure the rest of the adult rooms.
We just found the new car tonight since we have to sell ours to get enough seats. Toyota won the drive off.
Our friends and Church members have been stopping by for moral, morale and tangible support. Tonight, our dinner was was catered by a great young couple at our church. They have Mondays, and the calender is filling up with volunteers.
I am at the point of tears when I think of all the help we have gotten and the help that is on the way; my nephew Max from California is in town and stopping by for lunch Tuesday; Heidi's Brother, Jerry, is heading to the airport on Thursday for a four day visit; and Babushka Dawn (Heidi's Mom) arrives later this month.
Love, the learning parent. Keep the prayers coming for the adjustment phase.
Erik
The last battle of the Adoption, Ukraine edition:
The scene was the duty free shop in Borispil International airport. We had just cleared passports and security, to get into the waiting area. Heidi and I go into Duty Free to get some bribes for the kids and look for comfort food for us. I head out of the store to get Big Max who was watching the the bags, so he can help negotiate with the kids on goodies (not the place to do this shopping by the way). Well, three of them follow me out with an armful of goods in hand and the security goon hot on their heels. A set of mug shots where not taken.
A new day, a new struggle:
We made the flights and had a fantastic welcome Saturday night from our friends. The place looked amazing! Masha and the NCC Crew had painted the kids' room and assembled all the Ikea stuff to fit four in to the space available. Presents had been coming in for them and wrapping paper was flying. And all was bliss at the close of Saturday, but that's at midnight.
Now, the theme this week is: Prison Break, the movie
By 3 AM Sunday; we have been bitten, pinched, scratched, spit on and sweared at with the gusto of a Baltic sailor. The high point of Sunday was Christina and Max tossing the mattress out the 2nd floor bedroom window and threatening a jump.
The most memorable scene of Christina dismantling the louvers on the bedroom door and trowing them at me down the stairs. At first I watched her hit the door, and the louvers separated, then the fingers began to explore. When she got a good hold of one and gave it a good yank, it was all over. It was a Zombie film slo-mo; as the slats disappeared out of the frame and came at me whiffing through the air. Luckily she throws like a girl (ha ha).
Christina is the ring leader and Max is her henchman, Sasha less so and has a heart. Tanya is the victim who gets less attention since she isn't acting out.
Close of business Monday, calmer but movement in the background. 10 holes in the new hollow-core door I installed on Sunday. I have a sheet of plywood and a carpenter coming Tuesday to reinforce their door and secure the rest of the adult rooms.
We just found the new car tonight since we have to sell ours to get enough seats. Toyota won the drive off.
Our friends and Church members have been stopping by for moral, morale and tangible support. Tonight, our dinner was was catered by a great young couple at our church. They have Mondays, and the calender is filling up with volunteers.
I am at the point of tears when I think of all the help we have gotten and the help that is on the way; my nephew Max from California is in town and stopping by for lunch Tuesday; Heidi's Brother, Jerry, is heading to the airport on Thursday for a four day visit; and Babushka Dawn (Heidi's Mom) arrives later this month.
Love, the learning parent. Keep the prayers coming for the adjustment phase.
Erik
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